Obituary
Rosalie 'Tamar' Farkas, age 51
Beloved wife of Alan Farkas. The following article was published about Rosalie in the Chicago Tribune on January 2, 2011. This gives a great insight into her life.
CHICAGO - For the $70 the ad cost her, Tamar Garibay got only one reply, and she's not sure what to make of it. The ad ran in November between "Help Wanted" and "Legal Notices" in the classifieds section of the Chicago Jewish News. Under the heading "Adult Adoption," it described the 41-year-old woman's battle with loneliness." I want a family," it read. Garibay wasn't looking for help with her medical or financial woes, though she's got plenty of each. She just wanted to join others around their Shabbat dinner table.
In retrospect, she can see why people might be put off by an adult "looking to be 'adopted' by a Jewish family," as her ad was worded. "Do I seem weird?" she asked a rare visitor to her apartment in Chicago's Rogers Park.
She didn't give that impression to Jaime Engelhart, the classified ad manager at Chicago Jewish News.
"I really wanted to hug her," Engelhart recalled.
Garibay's submission was letter-perfect, and Englehart guessed she must be an educated person.
As she is. Garibay graduated from Mother McAuley Liberal Arts High School on the far southwest side of Chicago, and got a bachelor's degree in economics and finance at the University of Illinois at Chicago, where she remained for a master's in urban planning. On her nightstand is a copy of "Fabulous Small Jews," a book of short stories about love and loss in Rogers Park. As her hallway door opened, a puppy barked suspiciously and backed off. "She's not used to seeing other people in here," said Garibay of the 8-month-old Shih Tzu named Peekheet, Hebrew for "clever." Just as the issue with Garibay's ad was going off newsstands, she got a response. They chatted by phone for 45 minutes, and he left his number. But she's looking for a family, not a man. "He's lonely," she said. It's a condition she knows well. She grew up in South Shore and didn't have close friends in high school. An only child, her parents are both dead, and she isn't in touch with relatives.
She married a fellow UIC student. Five years ago they divorced, a breakup she attributes to her growing interest in religion. "He wanted a secular home," said Garibay. She said it was the second time she experienced such discord. There was a family memory of being Jewish on her mother's side, but she said her father didn't want anything to do with Judaism. Wanting to establish roots, Garibay volunteered at a Jewish senior citizens' center. She attended classes and went through a conversion ritual at Anshe Emet Synagogue. Tamar is her Hebrew name; her birth name was Rosalie. "She's a sweet, sweet person," said Rabbi Dena Bodian of Anshe Emet. "Any family who adopts her will find her a joy to be with." Garibay hasn't gotten to the synagogue, or out of the house much at all in recent months, because of multiple health problems. Formerly an auditor with the state, she now makes do with social-security disability payments. Her attempts to reach out to others haven't always gone well.
She lent money to a neighbor that didn't get repaid. The neighbor also enlisted Garibay in a quixotic attempt to reconnect with the woman's ex-boyfriend. That led to a back-porch scuffle, and Garibay wound up with a rap sheet. She did community service at a shelter for homeless cats. The episode contributed to her decision to place the ad. "I guess I don't know how to tell someone I want to be a part of your family," she said.
She's not giving up hope. Maybe someone will still call. "At night, I tell Peekheet, ‘Don't worry,' " she said. " ‘We'll be OK. You'll see.' "
To keep everyone safe and healthy, the chapel service and interment will be private. In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions may be made to Ezra-Habonim, the Niles Township Jewish Congregation, 4500 W. Dempster St., Skokie, IL 60076, www.ehnt.org would be appreciated. To attend the funeral live stream, please visit our website. Arrangements by Chicago Jewish Funerals - Skokie Chapel, 847.229.8822, www.cjfinfo.com
Arrangements by Chicago Jewish Funerals. www.chicagojewishfunerals.com